For a long time, I dreamed up this version of myself. Someone who desired things that were 

Unreal things,

Like a ghost of the past 

Hm..

Longing for someone who moved 

Planes-- or spaces or whatever

Ghosts deal in--

Eons ago

These things don't exist now.. and did they ever? But the dream and the reality converged. They converged on one point. Converging like the number eight...

Where is this going? I'm not following.

..That point being me. Listen.. I know this bit is tired but you are, in fact, getting paid to listen.

Am I?

Well, the currency doesn't come from my hands, so it it real?

Ok, fine, Socrates. I'm listening.

Anyway, I've heard of people pretending to be

Insane

For Whatever reason

They keep it up

Suddenly

It becomes true

At some point, the confines

Of the mind

Break, shatter, what have you

That mind is lost, true

So what replaces it?

You're not Insane

Well, it's probably a spectrum. Confining a subject to its poles is so limiting, but--yes, generally, you're right.

So are you just stalling? We don't have all the time in the world

You definitely do. No need to be in such a rush, you know.

Maybe

Either way, I'll pick it up.

Don't you ever get tired of this 

Spinning?

Around, and around.

In and out.

Poking and probing yourself

Finding what hurts and continuing 

Until you can't take it

Then dwelling on why it hurts so badly

After you've irritated and imbittered this previously

Insignificant little tiny qualm of yourself?

No, not particuarly. Don't think you're really on the money. Anyway this 

Person I was, or am. Still am.

Gets caught up wondering 

About this.. other me.

Is he real, somewhere within me?

I am the 

Fabric of Him and 

He is the making of my mind and

For a while,

He held the dials that made Him.

So What?

What, I can't care about myself, my mind? What happened to self love?

This is different, and you're losing me.

Not a chance. Anyway, what if a hand is still on a dial? Or all of them?

He is me. I am him.

That I am partially constructed

Artificially and unrealistically 

Made myself

Hands, head, body

All of it

Oh, are you talking about ego?

Maybe. I am tired now though, maybe the merry-go-round you mentioned isn't so far off.

It was more than that, it's not literally spinning. It's-

Well, sure, whatever.